Bringer of Sorrow
by Aredh
Summary: "Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." Friedrich Nietzsche. Loki/OC Very loosly based on the Norse mythology.
1. Prologue

**This is a short prologue and I'm trying to get the first chapter done as soon as possible.**

White mages are usually the embodiment of healers, conjurers and summoners. Her appearance certainly indicated that she was a white mage. Her hair and skin was white and she often wore white clothes. And that's the joke in her mind. She was far from being a white mage. She was a necromancer though it wasn't her own choice. The Archmages said that she didn't have the traits for anything else. She knew that was a lie, since she was fairly good at alteration and enchantment spells. She wasn't a true Åsgardian. Her mother was violated by an Ice Giant and died in childbirth. Her mother's family tried to kill the child to save them from disgrace, but the child's magic was already so strong that they failed in every attempt. That's how she got her name, Angrboda, the bringer of sorrow. And thus she was send to the Guild of Mages.


	2. Chapter 1

The guild was always devastated when one if it's Archmage have passed away. Even though everyone knew it was the price of their powers. Magic consumes their life. And that is the reason why many åsgardian didn't want to live up their potential as mages. Also becoming a member of the guild required highest amount of devotion. Some called them sacrifice, since a true mage cannot own anything nor they cannot marry.

Next day the news got even better. The royal family was attending the funeral. Apparently the Archmage was a friend of the Queen. Of course this was going to be only conversation topic for the moth. People were buzzing around even more often than usually.

"Angrboda, which do like better?" One of the female acolytes asked her.

"What?" Angrboda asked, since she wasn't paying attention to their conversation.

"Which of the princes do you like?" She repeated her question.

"I don't care either of them." Angrboda said, "Besides aren't we too old for that? We are not exactly teens anymore."

"Definitely prince Loki." She continued as Angrboda sight out and started to gather her books. She just wanted to study in peace since her initiation was coming.

She slammed the door as she got in to her room. Her roommate, Valdis, was playing with her cat. She was quite typical Åsgardian as she had long blonde hair and cream colored skin.

"What got in to you today?" She asked Angrboda. Angrboda answered with an annoyed look in her grey eyes.

"I see" Valdis said. "It'll be over soon."

"Except Illusionists have to choose their Achmage." Angrboda said while she sat by the desk. "It's going to take months."

She could remember very well the last time when an Archmage died. The whole guild became a political battleground. Officially it was the matter of the school of the deceased, but the other school can't stay out of it.

"At least you got more time to prepare for your initiation." Valdis said. Angrboda agreed since that was probably the only good thing that would come out from this. The Initiation requires the acceptance of all Archmages, so Angrboda will have to wait until new Archmage of Illusion is chosen.

All the important mages with the apprentices of illusion were attending the funeral. The other students were trying to find some clever hiding place so that they could have a glimpse of the royal family. Angrboda was enjoying the peace and quietness of the library .She already had seven books with her as she was gazing through the bookshelves.

"Excuse me, where could I find books about Ancient Runic writing." Angrboda heard a man's voice that she didn't recognize. Angrboda turned slowly to see her enquirer. He was tall with black hair and paled skin. He didn't seem to be much older Angrboda.

"Passed those three bookshelves and turn left. Then walk until till the end of the hall." She said.

"Thank you…" He was about to express his gratitude, but Angrboda turned back and quickly gather all her books as she was in hurry to leave. The mages didn't really like if she talked to strangers as she was their little secret. She quickly glimpsed at the man who disappeared behind a bookshelf. But when she turned to face towards she saw him standing in front of her. She gasped for and dropped all her books on the floor.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't resist." He smiled. Angrboda started to gather her book on the floor.

"Let me help you." He said.

"It's all right." She replied quickly. She picked all her quickly before he could even touch them.

"So how long have you been studying magic?" He asked as both of them stood up.

"Most of my life." She replied as she was eager to leave the library.

"So you grew up here." He continued asking while blocking her path.

"Yes." She felt uncomfortable. "Please, I must go."

"I have never seen anyone like you. Who are your parents?" He wasn't going to let her go that easily. Angrboda was wondering which is the appropriate spell to clear him out of her way. She couldn't even start chanting when they were interrupted by a golden haired man.

"Brother there you are!" He said, "Our parents are asking for you."

At this point Angrboda could only think about how the mages are going to be very angry at her. She was not supposed to show herself at any visitors.

"Who is your friend?" Golden haired man asked his brother

"I don't know. I just stumbled on to her." He answered. His brother looked at her as if he was waiting for some reaction.

"They don't let you out very often?" He said.  
"What?" Angrboda was a bit confused. All she could see was two men standing in front her of her and obviously they were brothers.

"My dear brother, you just found the only person in Åsgard who doesn't know who we are." He said "I am crown prince Thor and this is my brother prince Loki."

"I'm sor…" She started but was cut by Loki "Thanks' a lot, brother. Now you ruined it."

"She would have found out sooner or later." Thor pointed.

"I would have preferred later." Loki said as he wasn't happy to have his brother interrupt his little amusement.

"I'm sorry about my brother's behavior." Thor said to Angrboda.

"You don't have to apologize for me." Loki said.

"Hopefully he didn't do any harm." Thor disregarded his brother's comment.

"I'm fine, my prince." She said very slowly trying to comprehend what just happened.

"If you excuse me." Angrboda said as she thought it was best for her to leave now.

"You tricked her in to talking with you." Thor said after Angrboda left.

"Please be quiet." Loki replied.

"She was quite pretty and very different from other girls in here." He continued.

"Thor." Loki didn't want to hear any more about it.

"Did ask her name?" Thor couldn't stop.

"I'm warning you." Loki said with very serious tone.

"All right, all right. I won't say another word." Thor knew when it was best to stop teasing his younger brother.


	3. Chapter 2

Angrboda had fallen asleep on while studying. A pile of three books made a good pillow for her. Since the election of the new Archmage would take some time, the higher level acolytes would usually relax and pursue their other on the other hand studied even harder and didn't really care about time of the day. She was woken up by knock on her bedroom door. She slowly stood up to answer the door. It was the Archmage of necromancy. He was quite short man for åsgardian standard and fairly young for an Archmage as he barely had reached middle ages.

"Magister, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Angrboda said very well knowing what his business was.

"There is a messenger for you. Again." He replied as he stepped in to the room.

Angrboda sighed. The prince had sent a messenger every day for past two weeks and she was really getting tired of it.

"Have to admit. He is very persistent." Archmage continued.

"Is it the same invitation?" She asked and he nodded for answer.

"I'll decline it like I just like I have done so far. He'll grow tired of me soon." She reasoned in a foolish hope that the prince will give up.

"You have been saying that for the past few days." Archmage pointed out.

"What should I do then?" She asked him.

"Well he had proven that he is not going stop." He replied.

"I am not going to play his games. I know what people say about him." She was going to hold her grounds on this matter. Angrboda tried hard not to listen to the little voice in her head saying that it's not going to work.

"I don't think he'll take no for an answer." Archmage said to her.

"I'll write him a letter." Angrboda said as she sat down and picked a piece of paper, ink and a guill. She tried to put in the nicest way as she could. She just wanted to be left alone.

"What do think, brother?" Thor said to Loki as they were eating dinner with their parents.

"What?" Loki wasn't listening to the conversation as his thoughts were in the letter what he got from Angrboda.

"Is there something on you mind, dear? You haven't touched your food." Frigga said as she had watched her youngest son trying to find a good moment to ask him about it.

"It's about that white mage." Thor said before Loki even opened his mouth.

"What white mage?" Odin turned to Loki.

"When we were attending the funeral. We met this white mage in the library." Thor continued.

"She is an acolyte and…" Loki finally cut in. There was some use of the messenger as he found out about her name and lineage.

"And?" Odin said in a demanding voice.

"Halfblooded as the mages call her. Her mother was an åsgardian and father is an Ice Giant." Loki said as he wasn't sure how his father would react.

"So you met her in the Guild?" Odin asked.

"Yes." Loki said as he wasn't expecting calm response.

"I would like to meet her." Odin said after considering awhile. He wasn't happy about the mages hiding something like this.

"I have sent many invitations, but she has refused all of them." Loki said.

"Then invite her in person." Odin said to his son as he should have thought it himself.

"Yes, father." Loki said.

"What? The prince is here." Angrboda was surprised as she was expecting yet another messenger.

"Yes." Her Archmage said.

"What have I got myself into?" She spoke her thoughts.

"That's not all. Allfather wants to meet you." He continued.

"There is no way I can refuse." Angrboda signed as the Archmage nodded, "Guess I have to get my best robe then." She took out her robe which she was saving for her initiation. It was cream white and it had golden embryo around the hem, sleeves and neckline. It was nothing compared to the gowns of the nobles but it was best that she had. The Archmage gave her some privacy and waited for outside her room. Angrboda quickly changed her clothes and braided her hair.

Loki was waiting for her on the entrance hall of the guild. Many acolytes and mages were whispering as they were trying to quickly look at him without him noticing. Sometime a meister would come and order people to continue their business. After a while Angrboda came with her Archmage.

"My prince." She curtsied to him.

"Glad that you finally agreed to come." Loki said.

"I really didn't have a choice." She said to him. After few steps she stood still on the door looking outside. The sun was shining indicating that it was afternoon. The front garden was lively and in full bloom. But she was looking beyond the garden to the golden city.

"What is it?" Loki said as he was hoping that they could leave.

"I have never been outside the guild." Angrboda said.

"It is about time then." Loki said and grabbed her by the arm and they walked to the carriages waiting for them.

The grounds of the guild weren't large and they soon were at the gates to city. Angrboda genuinely enjoyed seeing the city up close as she was used to gazing it thought the windows of the guild towers. At times she glimpsed at the prince who gave her little smile to in return. He was amused to watch Angrboda childlike behavior as she was amazed by the city.

"Can I ask a question, my prince?" She carefully said.

"By all means." He replied.

"Why are you interested of me?" She asked the question which was on her mind ever since they met in the guild's library.

"You are different." He answered

"As in my father is an Ice Giant different." Angrboda said as she thought her suspicion was right. People usually found interesting for that reason.

"No, I can see that you have so much potential and the mages are restricting it." Loki clarified.

"Maybe it is for the best." She argued. All her life mages have told her that her powers can be a threat if not restrained and controlled properly.

"But you could be greater than all the Achmages together. They fear you." He said to her. Angrboda turned back to the window of the carriage. She knew that he was he was right.


	4. Chapter 3

**I decided to change the summary to the quote by Friedrich Nietzsche since I thought it would suit better for this story and especially for Loki. Some point I think I will get to the first movie and at first I thought that Angrboda would have passive role. But since I have thought about the quote and I decided she is going to have an active role. But it is long way and there will be some drama happening in meanwhile. So before I spoil anything here is the third Chapter. Hopefully you'll enjoy it and there will be more actions in the future chapters. Also reviews would be nice. **

It was really intimidating for Angrboda to stand before the Allfater. Odin's gaze made her feel like she was being accused for some horrible crime. Everything started to be overwhelming for her. Just few weeks ago she was studying for her initiation quietly in the safety of the Guild. Now she is in front of the ruler of Åsgard. Next to Allfather was his wife, Queen Frigga. She was calm and friendly looking. People talked about her kindness and just looking at her Angrboda was feeling a bit better. She was standing before the throne next to Loki.

"So you like the guild?" Odin asked Angrboda.

"Uhm… I guess, Allfather." She replied carefully.

"You guess?" Odin said as he was surprised about her answer.

"I don't really know anything else." She said. It was true since she has never left the Guild. Only world she knew was the walls and towers of the Mages Guild.

"So what else are they hiding from me?" Odin asked her as if she knew everything. It is true that the Guild has its secrets, but they would not tell her about. It would take years and years of studying and devotion before the secrets are shared and even then not all would be revealed.

"You are scaring her. Besides you are the one who made agreement with the mages."Frigga said to her husband. In the agreement the Mages Guild has promised to provide help and assistant to Odin whenever he asks for it without any hesitation. In return Odin promised to let them do their business in peace unless it harms the realm. Even the all-seeing Heimdall was forbidden to watch in to the Mages Guild. Now was it the first time that Odin's part of the agreement was tested.

"Will you be staying for dinner?" Frigga asked Angrboda.

"Yes, my queen. It would be my pleasure." Angrboda replied. She could not say no to the invitation from the queen. Just before she left the Guild her Archmage did say that she should please the royal family for the sake of the Guild. Odin gave Loki and Angrboda permission to leave.

"I don't like this." He said to his wife after they left.

"At least we can keep an eye on her now." Frigga said.

"I am going to have to talk with the Archmages." Odin didn't like that the mages were keeping secrets.

"Is that wise? This agreement has been beneficial for both sides." Frigga reasoned.

"I am not going to break the agreement. But hiding a halfblooded Ice Giant…" Odin said but he was cut by Frigga,"And what would you have if you know about her? What I can see she is very obedient and the mages have raised her well. Besides we have a bigger secret." Odin looked at Frigga knowing that she was right. He cannot find any justification for scolding the mages since they are almost doing the same thing.

Dinner was at first very formal. Angrboda felt very uncomfortable as she was way out of her league. Soon Thor started to talk about his all day combat training with the Sif and Warriors Three. Loki seemed to be tired of his brother endless tales sparring sessions with his friends.

"What else you do there than study magic?" Frigga finally asked Agnrboda.

"It depends on the person, my queen. Some like paint others play music." She replied. It is not all about the studying magic. Other skills are just as important as knowing the right spells.

"What do you do then?" The queen continued.

"I read books mostly and sometimes train combat skills." Angrboda answered. That got Thor's attention.

"So you can fight? I didn't know mages can fight." He said.

"We have to learn to defend ourselves. Like my combat master sais never to trust your magic to save your arse." Only after she said that she realized that it probably wasn't the best choice of words especially in front of the royal family.

"You are right about that. Magic can be treacherous if trust it too much." Odin said as he was amused by her less formal language.

"So what is your weapon of choice?" Thor asked Angrboda.

"Quarterstaff, my prince" She replied. Quarterstaff fitted in her hand very well. Many choose daggers since they are easy to carry and some might learn to use short sword if they have talent for it. Angrboda chose quarterstaff since basically she could use any kind of stick to defend herself.

"We should spar then. Tomorrow." Thor said. He seemed to be excited about having someone new to test his skills in combat.

"Mages don't spar, my prince." Angrboda said.

"But you are not a mage." Loki added. Obviously he was interested to see her skills as well.

"A little sparring will be good exercise. I will ask Sif and the Warriors Three to join us." Thor said smiling.

"I guess I cannot refuse." Angrboda gave a little forced smile, "It is getting late. I must get back to the Guild."

"We have dozens of room being unused. Sure she can accommodate one for tonight." Loki quicly said.

"I'll have the servants prepare a room for you. I'll send a message to the Guild that you'll be staying here for tonight." Frigga said. Angrboda expressed her gratitude to the Queen and the Prince. The day turned out to be longer than she thought.

Angrboda was given access to the royal library. She felt like a child in a candy store. The library was even bigger than the Guild's library. She knew that she didn't have much time so she was happy just to browse through some of the most interesting books she could find. She sat down in the stone bench on the balcony. For a while she looked at to towers of the Mages Guild of the horizon. It was really funny thing for her. She never thought of stepping outside of the Guild and now she is sitting on the balcony of royal palace. She tried to concentrate on the book she had on her lap. But her mind kept wondering back to the horizon. She heard steps entering the balcony. It was Prince Loki.

"My prince." Angrboda stood up curtsied at him.

"I thought I would find you here." He said and sat down on the bench. Angrboda followed him and sat next to him.

"Sorry about my brother." He said. "But whenever it comes to the combat and fighting he is just…"

"It's all right." Angrboda said. "I am sure he'll find my skills adequate."

"I am also interested to see what you can do." Loki said. Angrboda looked at him trying to figure out his intentions. In the end she came up the most likely result.

"You and the whole world." She said to herself.

"Excuse me." Loki said as he wasn't sure did he hear her words right.

"I'm sorry didn't mean to say it out loud" She said as was getting upset. To her the prince was just like everyone else. Only wanting her powers.

"It's just that I am tired of people caring only about what I can do with my magic. No one really cares about what I think and feel." She said as she stood up and started to walk out from the balcony.

"Wait!" Loki said before Angrboda could leave the balcony," When I first saw you, you were this beautiful creature with fear in your eyes. But you weren't afraid of me." Angrboda could believe what she was hearing. No one has ever called her beautiful. But she tried to stay strong, after all people call him the god of mischief. He could be just tricking her.

"You were different and… "He continued, "and I thought you would understand me."

"Understand you how?" She turned to face him.

"I always have this feeling of not belonging here." Loki couldn't believe himself saying that to someone who he barely knew.

"You have friends." Angrboda said.

"Friends? They are not my friends. I'm being tolerated because I happened to be a prince. It is my brother who has friends. And they love him." Angrboda was surprised to hear that. She thought that out of all people in Åsgard he would have everything: wealth, position, power. But it seemed that had the only thing that he didn't have. She had a friend to share every ups and down.

"We both live in the shadows. You live in the shadow of you brother and I live in the shadow of my heritage." Angrboda said to him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, my prince." Angrboda said to Loki, curtsied and left to her room.


End file.
